Friday, 14 December 2012

A Rod Stewart Haircut Got Me Thinking About My Death

A funny thing happened at the hairdressers yesterday (Supercuts Southend) that got me thinking about my demise and what `memories` I will leave behind.

I said to the girl (blonde, cute, attractive) and sadly YOUNG enough to be my daughter "I want it spikey on top like Rod Stewart".
Instead of replying "Rod who?"...she asked: "Did you see him on TV the other night?"...I said "yeah...are you a fan as well?"

Now here is the `funny` bit she said "No not really...but my Dad was"...I sudenly felt my age...LOL...but it was the sad part of her answer that got me thinking.
She said:
"I always watch whenever he`s on TV...because last year I lost my Dad...who was a massive fan...so whenever I see Rod Stewart or hear his songs I think of my Dad"

That got me thinking...what songs or things will remind my children of me?

But before I continue and get serious...on Page 3 of The Sun was a picture of `Rod the Mod`...which I showed her...and she cut my hair exactly the same.

I walked down Southend High Street "well happy"...but last night Sam said "Oh my God - you having a laugh?"...and Adam chipped in with "What have you done to your hair?"

That to me means it really does look like Rod. I joked "I`m thinking of going blonde again"...but they were not amused...LOL.

The moral of that story..."Yes I refuse to grow old gracefully" LOL...but that young girl (21-23) got me thinking about what singers or songs...Television...famous people...would always remind my children about `their old dad?`

TV: with Sam it would have to be Minder because we watch it together - it`s also his favourite programme...and we both love Arthur Daley.

TV: with Adam I would say it`s The Inbetweeners and The Office. I`ve lost count of how many times we`ve watched both.

The other show we still watch together on TV or DVD is Only Fools And Horses - in 50 years time I believe those TV programmes will still rekindle memories of me.

Plus one programme I `love` and they `hate` is Come Dine With Me - they `slaughter` me for watching it and took the `p***` when I applied to take part...and I am sure that every time its repeated on `Dave` that they`ll think of me.

The funny thing is Pop Culture/TV/Music does stay in your memory forever.

My earliest TV memory is a cop show called Z Cars...and remember crying my eyes out when the Police dog owned by a copper called Fancy Smith died.
That is bizarre on many levels as I grew up hating the police and throughout my teens stood on the North Bank singing the praises of Harry Roberts.

What songs remind me of my Dad?... anything by Al Jolson, Deliah by Tom Jones and The Last Waltz by Englebert Humperdink.
As most Saturday and Sunday mornings I woke up to them blaring out of the lounge.

Old films like The Jolson Story. Jolson Sings Again and Angels With Dirty Faces always remind me of my dad...as does the Match Of The Day theme tune.

But cant think of any song, film or TV show linked to my mum...I`ve been trying my hardest but nothing rings a bell.

There are plenty of things that remind me of my ex-wife...and I`m NOT just talking about her porn movies, Blow Jobs, long legs, pert tits or cute bum...LOL...the list is endless.

Television:
It has to be the Christmas Specials of Only Fools And Horses and The Office...I have `flashbacks` everytime I watch both...if I had the `gift` of David Blaine or the `magic powers` of Dynamo I`d turn back the clock like a shot.

The truth is before I met Julie...to be honest Xmas was a `blur`...and not my favourite time of the year...as a teenager I hated it cos my mates all had a `mum and dad`...and I didnt.

So I would drink lots of Pils Lager...take a lot of little blue pills (speed)...and `pretend` everything was alright.

After my parents split...I `sort of` spent one Christmas with my Dad...and one with my mum...but I did not enjoy it or join in the `phoney family` festive spirit...as it was NOT my Family...there were people in the room who were not `blood relatives`.

In my book...a person who is NOT a blood relative is NOT a relative...simple as that...FACT...end of story...there is NO argument about that.

Once when I went up North to my mums...`blood relatives` of hers were present...as was her husband...NOT my stepdad.
I aint sure if I was 17 or 18...I cant for the life of me remember which Xmas it was...but remember going out Christmas Eve...meeting a girl at a pub disco...dont ask me her name or what she looked like cos I aint got a clue.

But I do remember going back to her place somewhere in Macclesfield and returning to my mums on Boxing Day.

At the time I thought I was doing what any teenage boy who liked `girls and partying` would do...but with hindsight...I dont think I could handle `playing at Happy Families` without my Mum and Dad both being there.
It wasnt the proper Johnson Family Christmas that I had grown up with at 9 Fairview Chase.

The same sort of thing happened the only time I `sort of` had Christmas with my dad...and his Registery Office wife...(NOT my stepmother)...I think I was 19 or Twenty...we were booked into a hotel in either Margate or Ramsgate.

I went off Xmas Eve...met a girl in a local night club...and returned `out of my head` on the afternoon of Christmas Day.
At the time I probally thought I was just being rebelious and `having a laugh`...but again with hindsight its pretty obvious I was `refusing` to join in a phoney family Christmas.

Getting back to why Christmas of 1988 or 1989 was so special...not sure which year it was...but my first Xmas with Julie was my first without drink, drugs or wanting to be reunited with my mum and dad.

In the weeks leading up to that Xmas I remember `obverdossing` on Oranges, Tangerines, Lemsip and Cough mixture to make sure I wasnt ill or had flu over the Christmas Holiday.

That is why the Christmas TV specials of Only Fools And Horses and The Office always remind me of Julie...as does the Rod Stewart classic "You Can Me Dance You Can Make Me Sing"...as it was the first thing she bought me.

From memory WHSmith Southend-on-Sea.

Every time I hear the opening chords...the song has a brilliant intro...for some reason I still think of her and our first Christmas.

Which considering I now hate her...(and she hates me even more)...we are living proof that "the thin line between love and hate"...really does excist...LOL...it also proves that old songs...TV shows...Films...all have the power to bring back `magic moments` and revive old memories.

This is why I know that when I`m "dead and gone"...whenever the boys hear "Anarchy In The UK" or Ziggy Stardust watch Minder, The Office, Only Fools And Horses and The Inbetweeners that they will always think of me.

No doubt...just as I told Sam and Adam that Al Jolson was my Dad`s Hero...they will tell their kids that David Bowie and Rod Stewart were mine.














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